When people are working with us, often the things their friends and loved ones say can undermine the work they are doing. So here are 10 things that you can do or say that will help someone with anxiety and support their efforts.

On this page

Here’s how to help someone with anxiety
Understanding Anxiety
- What It Feels Like for Them
Things to Avoid Saying or Doing
- Prepare Your Mind and Body for Therapy
The Importance of Patience When Supporting Someone with Anxiety
Building a Safe Space at Home
Encouraging Healthy Habits
How to Handle Anxiety in Public Situations
Recognising When Professional Help is Needed
Taking Care of Yourself While Supporting Someone with Anxiety

Here’s how to help someone with anxiety

1. If you want to go out, that’s great, but if you don’t, that’s okay too

Nobody likes to be forced into anything, and if they have anxiety it will make things worse. Give them the option to back out if they don’t feel right, this helps them to feel less trapped. It calms them down knowing that they can decide whether or not they feel able to do something.

2. Give them time

One of their biggest fears is that they are wasting your time. They constantly feel like they are disrupting the lives of the people around them by feeling the way they do. When you let them know that time is not an issue, they find it easier to calm down as they don’t have that added worry.

3. Let them know you’re proud of them

Some of the things we ask clients to do may seem simple to you but to them, it might feel like a huge mountain to climb. It’s helpful for them to hear and feel your support whilst they are making this change in the way they feel. They like to hear that you are proud of them for taking on these challenges. It helps them to know that you understand how difficult it can be to persevere and succeed. This is a really good way to help someone with anxiety.

4. Try to understand that it’s something that they can’t control

The last thing they need to hear is you saying “get a grip” or “just forget it”. They need you to understand that they cannot control the anxiety when it happens. It makes them feel supported and safer if you understand.

5. Acknowledge that they are making an effort to make a change

They like to know that you understand that they are trying, this can really help someone with anxiety. Often, people give the impression that they are lazy or that they aren’t trying. It’s essential for them to know that you really understand that they are persevering. Remember, it can be enormously hard for them to act normally, even in a very normal situation.

6. What can I do that will make you feel better

When they start to feel anxious, it can be helpful to ask, “What can I do to help?”. In the past, they just need to sit there and wait for the anxiety to pass, but we will have probably given them techniques that they will need to use to head off the anxiety.

That being said, they might appreciate it if you ask, because it makes them feel like you care about what they are going through. However, don’t push it! Remember you want to help someone with anxiety not force them.

7. You’re safe and secure, I’m here if you need me

It’s important for them to be reassured that everything around them isn’t falling apart. Anxiety is about feeling vulnerable, even when they are not. So any way that you can help them feel safe and secure can only help, but again, don’t push it.

8. Let’s grab some fresh air

Most people with anxiety feel trapped and feel like they can’t breathe, so going outside with someone can be a real help. It can give them some time to sort out how they are feeling whilst you’re there and they can feel supported.

A word of warning; for some people with anxiety, going outside and leaving their “safe zone” can be the last thing they want to do. In that case, make your presence felt by just being there for them.

9. It’s not a problem for us, we’re here if you need us

As previously mentioned they are worried about wasting your time. They hate feeling like a burden when they are out with friends and family. It reassures them when you tell them that they aren’t troubling you when they start to feel anxious.

10. Let’s work through this as a team

Sometimes it feels good to talk through their anxiety. It can be reassuring to get a different perspective on what they are experiencing. Try to be calm and objective without being judgemental. Everybody knows that anxiety is irrational but it’s the feelings we are trying to change and since when have feelings been rational?

Something to remember if you want to help someone with anxiety. Sometimes (but not always), it can feel great to let it all out in a calm and objective way with someone you love.

Understanding Anxiety

What It Feels Like for Them

If you want to help someone with anxiety, the first step is understanding what they’re going through. Anxiety isn’t just about feeling nervous, it’s an overwhelming sense of fear or unease that can feel impossible to control. The brain’s “alarm system” kicks in, even when there’s no real danger, triggering physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, trembling, or tightness in the chest.

For someone with anxiety, this response can feel exhausting and all-consuming. On top of this, they often worry about how their anxiety affects others, which adds another layer of stress. By learning what anxiety feels like, you can be better equipped to help someone with anxiety in a way that feels supportive and understanding.

It’s important to note that while your understanding is valuable, professional solutions are often the key to lasting change. At The Surrey Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy, we specialise in helping clients resolve anxiety through hypnotherapy. This proven approach goes beyond just managing symptoms, it works directly with the subconscious mind to rewire unhelpful thought patterns and help someone with anxiety regain control over their life.

Things to Avoid Saying or Doing

When trying to help someone with anxiety, it’s just as important to know what not to do. Certain phrases, even when said with the best intentions, can make things worse. Here’s what to avoid:

“Just calm down.” Anxiety doesn’t work like a switch you can flip off. Telling them to calm down might seem logical, but it can make them feel invalidated.
“There’s nothing to worry about.” Anxiety isn’t always rational, and dismissing their feelings can increase their sense of isolation.
“You’re overreacting.” This makes them feel judged, adding guilt to their anxiety.

Instead, focus on supportive phrases like:

“I’m here for you.”
“How can I help?”
“I understand this is hard for you right now.”

If anxiety is an ongoing issue, hypnotherapy can provide a transformative solution. At The Surrey Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy, we focus on addressing the root causes of anxiety. By working directly with the subconscious, hypnotherapy helps someone with anxiety to stop reacting with fear and regain control of their emotional responses.

The Importance of Patience When Supporting Someone with Anxiety

One of the most effective ways to help someone with anxiety is to be patient. Recovery from anxiety is rarely linear, and it’s important to give them the time and space they need to work through their challenges.

For example, if they’re working on facing fears like social situations or public speaking, they might not succeed on the first try, or even the second. Celebrate their small victories, no matter how minor they might seem. A seemingly simple step, like spending five extra minutes in a busy space, can feel like climbing a mountain for someone with anxiety. Letting them know you’re proud of their efforts can go a long way.

At The Surrey Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy, we recognise the importance of gradual, sustained progress. Our hypnotherapy sessions are designed to help someone with anxiety take those small but vital steps toward recovery, giving them the confidence and resilience to keep moving forward.

Building a Safe Space at Home

Creating a safe and supportive environment at home is one of the best ways to help someone with anxiety. Anxiety thrives in chaotic, overwhelming environments, so making their surroundings feel calm and predictable can ease their stress.

Here’s how you can create a safe space:

Minimise triggers: Reduce clutter, noise, and distractions that might overstimulate them.
Respect boundaries: If they need quiet time, allow them to retreat to a calm area without interruption.
Encourage relaxation activities: Journaling, meditation, or even gentle music can help them regulate their emotions.

While creating a safe space at home can provide immediate relief, it’s important to address the underlying causes of anxiety. Hypnotherapy at The Surrey Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy works to create an internal “safe space” within the subconscious mind, helping someone with anxiety feel calm and secure no matter where they are.

Encouraging Healthy Habits

When you’re trying to help someone with anxiety, encouraging healthy habits can make a big difference. Anxiety often disrupts routines, so supporting them in maintaining balance can help stabilise their emotions.

Here are a few key habits to focus on:

Mindful breathing: Encourage them to practise deep breathing techniques to calm their nervous system. Even a few minutes of focused breathing can help someone with anxiety feel more grounded.
Regular exercise: Exercise is one of the most effective natural remedies for anxiety. Suggest activities like walking, yoga, or swimming to help them release tension and boost endorphins.
Limiting caffeine and alcohol: Both substances can heighten anxiety symptoms. Suggest gentle alternatives, like herbal teas or non-alcoholic options, to help someone with anxiety avoid unnecessary triggers.

At The Surrey Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy, we often incorporate relaxation techniques into our hypnotherapy sessions. These tools empower clients to manage their anxiety naturally while addressing the root causes of their condition.

How to Handle Anxiety in Public Situations

Knowing how to help someone with anxiety in public situations can be challenging, but your calm presence can make all the difference. Here’s what to do:

Stay calm: Your energy can help regulate theirs. If you panic, it may escalate their anxiety.
Offer grounding techniques: Encourage them to focus on their senses by asking, “What can you see, hear, or feel right now?” This can bring them back to the present moment.
Find a quiet space: If possible, guide them to a less crowded area where they can take a moment to recover.

If public anxiety is a recurring issue, hypnotherapy can provide long-term relief. At The Surrey Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy, we use targeted techniques to help someone with anxiety build confidence in public spaces, gradually reducing their triggers over time.

Recognising When Professional Help is Needed

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, professional help is the best way to truly help someone with anxiety. Signs they may need additional support include:

Avoiding daily activities, work, or social events because of anxiety.
Experiencing physical symptoms like insomnia, chronic fatigue, or digestive issues linked to stress.
Feeling “stuck” despite trying self-help strategies.

At The Surrey Institute of Clinical Hypnotherapy, we specialise in hypnotherapy as a fast and effective solution for anxiety. Unlike counselling, which often involves lengthy discussions about the problem, hypnotherapy works directly with the subconscious mind to address the root causes. Many of our clients see noticeable improvements within just a few sessions, allowing them to live a calmer, more confident life.

If you are not sure what kind of anxiety they are dealing with, our Anxiety And Panic overview page explains the main patterns we work with and how hypnotherapy can help.

Taking Care of Yourself While Supporting Someone with Anxiety

Supporting someone with anxiety can be emotionally taxing, so it’s important to take care of your own well-being too. Here’s how to maintain your balance:

Set boundaries: It’s okay to say no if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Supporting someone doesn’t mean neglecting your own needs.
Share the responsibility: If possible, involve other friends or family members to lighten the load.
Prioritise self-care: Whether it’s exercise, meditation, or a hobby you love, make time to recharge your energy.

Taking care of yourself ensures you have the emotional capacity to help someone with anxiety effectively.